On Monday, the Lake Champlain Chamber of Commerce and Vermont Convention Bureau announced that Burlington will play host to the 2011 and 2012 USA Triathlon Multisport Festivals. This means that a couple thousand people who like to suffer will descend on our fair city by the lake to get their swim, bike and run on. Pretty exciting for those of us who like the idea of hot, athletic people in skimpy swimsuits parading their fit selves around our petite ville. Nothing wrong with that. Beats the model train convention people any day.
For Burlington, this is a pretty big score. Triathlon is hugely popular and continues to draw more and more people into the fold. I’m not sure why. The idea of having to be proficient at more than one sport seems overwhelming. I’m barely good at one thing; I can’t imagine having to be good at three things. Plus, there’s that whole clothing issue — you have to bike and run in a swimsuit, essentially. And that’s pretty much like running in your undies. If I’m going running, which will be never, it’s going to be at night in my baggiest sweatsuit.
The festivals, which will occur in August each year, will consist of the USAT Aquathlon National Championship, the USAT Age Group National Championship, the USAT Sprint National Championship and the USAT Elite National Championship. I have no clue what an aquathlon is, except for a pain in the ass word to say, but I do know what a triathlon is.++
A standard triathlon race is composed of a .93-mile swim, a 24.8-mile bike ride and a 6.2-mile run. All of the races will be this distance, except for the sprint championship. Those folks will be swimming .47 miles, biking 12.4 miles and running 3.1 miles. Lucky sods.
Scenically, you can’t get much better than Burlington for a triathlon. With the majestic Adirondacks looming in the distance and all that blue-green algae floating in Lake Champlain, who wouldn’t be inspired by our Queen City backdrop? And Burlington is obviously well equipped to handle huge events like this. The KeyBank Vermont City Marathon draws 8000 runners to the city, 3000 of whom run the full marathon. The Green Mountain Stage Race brings in about 750 cyclists from around the country. My tiddlywinks/charades biathlon brings in a good one or two hund.. well, zero people. But whatever.
So welcome, racers. Try not to swallow any lake water. And enjoy the hills.
*Please excuse the craptastic title. Despite working at Seven Days, home of the bottomless pun, that type of wordplay isn’t really my jam. So mea maxima culpa. Suggestions are welcome.
++ An aquathlon is a triathlon without biking. It is not a duathlon — running, biking and running some more — nor is it a biathlon — Nordic skiing and gun shooting. Do not confuse it with the other meaning of aquathlon — the sport of underwater wrestling.
This article appears in Jan 13-19, 2010.
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“Beats the model train convention people any day.”Oh Lauren… have you talked to tri-athletes? How interesting could a person be who spends hours a day running in a straight line by him/herself? Just think if these societal layabouts instead poured all those hours and dollars into making a real difference in their local communities. How self indulgent!On the other hand, I’ve had many interesting conversations with good folks at the train show at the Fair Grounds. Some can get a little obsessive, but they tend to have more balance than the robo-fit you idolize.(I speak with all the scientific authority of the Blog Commenters Intelligentsia.)
I dunno. I like the model train people. They’re more “my people” than these ober athletes. Er, uber athletes.
You would be surprised on how down to Earth triathletes are. Yes they spend a lot of time training and racing but many of them do a lot of great work within their communities. With the event coming to Burlington means they will spend money here which is always a good thing! Remember, triathletes generally have plenty of money to spend. Local businesses have to like that.
Tri Guy – Please stop taking yourself so seriously. Even the KKK has “some” people that are down to earth and that do community service. Point is die hard Tri people, whihc I know quite a few of, tend to be a bit obsessive about what they do and have a hard time having a social conversation about anything but swimming, riding, or running. they are kind of like the Model Train people of the work out world.
Woah, kids, why all the haters? These folks are bringing money into the city, and since when did Vermonters get all uppity about some sporty people running around in spandex? No one seems to complain about all those skiers or snowboarders, or the marathon, or the Green Mountain cycling stage race. Let’s embrace our sporty selves!
Just to be clear, I’m psyched that the Tri people are coming. This is great news for Burlington! I just don’t want to slight the model train people, because I’ve been to some pretty hoppin’ model train conventions.
Lauren – What did you mean by, “Beats the model train convention people any day.”?We were thinking about going to the model train convention in September, but now I do not know about that.Can you please explain your comment. It did not seem very welcoming to me.