Mouse Wars

Episode I: The Rodent Menace

Roughly a week ago, Seven Days office manager and Solid State blogger Bridget Burns gave me some homemade cookies to take home to my new apartment in downtown Burlington. When I got home, I left the cookies on top of my fridge, forgetting to put them away before I went to sleep.
When I awoke, the napkin I wrapped the cookies in was on the kitchen floor and upon further examination, one cookie was missing. No crumbs, remnants or shreds of cookie were found.
“Oh, no,” I thought, “I’ve been sleep-eating. This is not good”
Later that day, I discovered the cookie on the side of my stove. Only, this was no ordinary cookie.
The center of the baked delight was gnawed out by little teeth.
“Oh crap. I have a mouse.”
I began hunting to avenge the cookie, armed with old school mousetraps and extra chunky peanut butter.

Episode II: Attack of the Traps

Mouse traps are supposed to trap mice, right?
Well, it seems as if I am dealing with a Mighty Mouse of sorts. After baiting two traps placing them around my stove, I found one flipped over on the ground.
No peanut butter. No mouse.
I checked the other trap. No peanut butter, yet still set. Ugh.
After much reflection and thought about how I was outwitted by Stuart Little, I drew some inspiration from my favorite TV show.
In the eighth episode of season one of the CBS sitcom “How I Met Your Mother,” Lily and Marshall, a newly engaged couple played by Alyson Hannigan and Jason Segel, discover a frightening creature lurking in their apartment. After a brief argument about whether the creature is a mouse or a cockroach, the two decide to establish that the shrewd annoyance is a cockamouse, a hybrid of both species.
Much like Lily and Marshall, I now find myself battling a super rodent that eludes even the most resourceful of people. I am dealing with a cockamouse of sorts — a nuisance that is stealing my peanut butter and sanity. Blast!

Cockamouse – 1
Jon – 0

To be continued…

This article appears in May 28 – Jun 3, 2008.