Darshana Bolt Credit: Courtesy of Ash Larose

Burlington artist Darshana Bolt spent most of the hot, humid day of July 13 at the Howard Center‘s crisis center on Pine Street. The 31-year-old woman had threatened to kill herself, which landed her in the six-bed ASSIST Program in the city’s south end. Despite being under supervision, shortly before 7 p.m. she informed staff that she was going outside to smoke a cigarette.

She never returned.

Four days later, a passerby found Bolt suspended from a tree in a dense patch of woods nearby. Police concluded that she had hanged herself shortly after walking out of the mental health facility, the entrance of which is marked by a sign that promises: “Help is here.”

The suicide of the dark-haired bohemian beauty who cruised around Burlington on a gold-spray-painted bicycle stunned her loved ones, even though some of them knew Bolt’s fragile mental health seemed to be disintegrating.

Members of her family believe that if she’d been watched more carefully, Bolt would be alive today. They have broader concerns, too, about the quality of health care in a state that has transitioned from warehousing the mentally ill in asylums to relying on community programs. Vermont emergency rooms are often crowded with patients waiting for beds in hospital psych wards. Those who are referred to alternative treatment such as Howard’s have to go voluntarily. They have a legal right to leave — Vermont favors liberty over forced commitment.

The ASSIST Center did err in caring for Bolt, according to a recent report from the Vermont Division of Licensing and Protection at the Department of Disabilities, Aging and Independent Living, which investigated her death. The crisis center failed to provide her appropriate supervision as required under state regulations governing therapeutic community residences — and broke its own rules by allowing her to leave the building not once but twice without a staff escort. The center’s rule says that all new clients need to stay “on the unit” for the first 24 hours of any stay and should not leave unaccompanied. That crucial monitoring period allows staff to determine whether a patient qualifies for nonvoluntary hospital admission.

Neither ASSIST program coordinator Angela Fereday-Parent nor Howard Center CEO Bob Bick granted requests for comment. But Fereday-Parent responded to the state report with a written correction plan as required by law. ASSIST will retrain staff in policies and procedures for suicidal patients and provide more scrutiny and documentation of patients who want to leave the facility within the first 24 hours of arrival, according to the plan.

But that won’t bring back Bolt, her older sister, Serenity, pointed out. “This is unconscionable; they failed in their most basic mission.” She continued, “I would like to see strict regulations put in place to make sure that when somebody is admitted to a crisis center with suicidal ideation, that it is taken just as seriously as someone who is admitted to the hospital with a serious injury.”

Darshana’s father, Frederick “Ben” Bolt, agrees. “I’m hoping there will be a public outcry” and that “the Howard Center will have to clean its act up.”

‘She Was Mesmerizing’

Credit: Artwork By Darshana Bolt

Despite Darshana’s struggles, friends and family say she was a compelling, creative person. During her last two years in Burlington, she cohosted a poetry show on public access television, coordinated the Old North End Ramble, joined her studio mates at the Howard Space building in the 2015 fight to preserve artist-friendly zoning in the Pine Street corridor, and produced dozens of paintings, collages and drawings. Some were dark portraits with an air of suffering; others were sardonic or gleeful.

Darshana often made herself into a human canvas, by wearing gauzy fairy wings over thrift shop clothing, or glamour-girl eyeliner and bright red lipstick to dress up a paint-splattered jumpsuit. Burlington chanteuse Kat Wright remembered her general “fabulousness” in a moving Instagram post that wound up on Facebook in the week after Darshana’s death. She was a regular at Radio Bean coffeehouse, the hipster downtown music venue that Wright owns with her husband, Lee Anderson.

“I’m so stunned that someone so kind, so open, so creative, so righteous, so beautiful, so young could find herself trapped in such deep darkness,” Wright wrote. “She was mesmerizing, she was brilliant, she was buoyant.”  

The daughter of Jessica and Ben Bolt was born in upstate New York and spent her early years with sister Serenity and three stepsiblings in a log cabin in the foothills of the Adirondacks. Jessica worked on and off as a teacher; Ben designed book covers. The family moved around — to Wisconsin, to North Carolina — before settling in the St. Johnsbury area, where Darshana attended St. Johnsbury Academy. Her parents now reside in Glover.

Darshana excelled in high school and won a scholarship to study art at Bennington College. But she had trouble organizing herself to meet deadlines, and, after two years, the college asked her to leave. When she was in her early twenties, Darshana was diagnosed with attention deficit disorder and began treating it with the drug Adderall. The stimulant, though widely prescribed to children and adults, is an amphetamine with side effects that can include insomnia and depression. Darshana came to view Adderall as an unhealthy addiction and was struggling to get off it at the time of her death.

After Bennington, Darshana took a break from school and eventually enrolled at the University of Vermont, graduating in 2012 with an art degree and teaching certification. She traveled and lived for a time in Cambodia, where she taught art to children and created what she considered to be some of her best work. A bout of typhoid fever brought her home to Vermont, according to her parents and sister, and she attributed lingering digestive problems to the tropical disease.

After a brief stint in New York City, she landed in Burlington two years ago and began dating fellow artist and activist Brian Goblik. Together they decided to take new first names and a joint last name. She called herself Emerald Avilix, and Goblik chose Ibnar Avilix. He declined to speak to Seven Days.

Darshana’s talents could not make up for the problems she faced. She had difficulty earning a living from her art and struggled to find paying work and stable housing. Digestive problems often left her feeling ill, and she had bouts of depression. She saw a psychiatrist and at times became angry or disoriented in public. Other times she was afraid to go out in public alone, according to Serenity. At the time of her death, she had been diagnosed with dissociative disorder, a condition characterized by detachment and disorientation, and was on federal disability, according to her family members.

They also say Darshana was abusing Adderall and couldn’t seem to wean herself off it. Large doses left her shaky and unable to sleep, sometimes for days at a time. Darshana and Goblik broke up in part because of that addiction, according to her sister. Darshana was also trying to stop taking more recently prescribed dosages of the anti-depression medication Effexor.

Darshana did not interact with her parents much in the year before her death, but Ben and Jessica said they thought about her frequently — and worried. Serenity, who lives in Montpelier, visited her sister twice in July at the South Winooski Avenue apartment she was renting with a federal Section 8 subsidy. She said Darshana was happy to have her own apartment after long periods of couch surfing, house sitting and sleeping in art studios. But she also seemed confused at times, and her hands shook, Serenity said. They made plans to get together again soon.

Crisis Mismanagement?

Credit: Artwork By Darshana Bolt

A few days later Darshana went into the crisis that ended with her suicide, as documented in the police report and the state Division of Licensing and Protection investigation. On July 12 at 5:35 a.m., Burlington police went to Darshana’s apartment because a friend staying there called to report that the young woman was acting erratically. Darshana hadn’t slept in days and appeared to be on the verge of a breakdown. She had flushed bottles of Adderall down the toilet and took a cellphone video of herself vowing to quit cold turkey. Police convinced Darshana to go to the emergency room at the University of Vermont Medical Center for evaluation.

Health officials at UVMMC will not discuss her case, citing privacy laws. Her parents are in the process of seeking her medical records but for now do not have the details. All they know is that Darshana was not admitted to the secure hospital psychiatry unit and was instead referred to Howard’s ASSIST Program, a residential setting for “crisis respite and stabilization” that opened in 2012.

According to the state report, Darshana was admitted at 2:30 a.m. on July 13 after hospitalization and observations for erratic behavior and “suicidal ideation.” Her mood alternated between “tearful and upbeat.” More than 12 hours later, at 3 p.m., Darshana said she wanted to take a walk outside. When staff told her that patients are required to stay in the unit for the first 24 hours of their stay, Darshana became angry and reminded them that she was there voluntarily, the report said. She walked out the door alone. The state report noted, “The program coordinator provided client with permission to leave the unit.”

Within an hour, Darshana was having a public meltdown on Pine Street.

At 3:47 p.m., Burlington police received a call from one of her friends, who was with Darshana at ArtsRiot. The person’s name is blacked out on the public records that the police released to Seven Days, but it’s clear that he or she expressed fear that Darshana was going to hurt herself. Police came and found Darshana in an agitated state a few blocks north, near Curtis Lumber. “Bolt appeared to be under stress and would fluctuate from crying and yelling,” the report reads. A second friend arrived, convinced Darshana to return to ASSIST and took her back to the facility.

That person, referred to only as “Friend B” in the state report, told ASSIST staff that Darshana had spoken of hanging herself. “The friend was assured that the client would be safe on the unit,” the report reads. Around 6:40 p.m. Friend B asked to go out to smoke a cigarette with Darshana. Staff allowed them to exit the building together.

Within 20 minutes, Friend B returned without Darshana and then left, too. When Darshana had not come inside by 7:15 p.m., a staff person went outside to look for her — to no avail. The police came, searched unsuccessfully for her and issued a missing-persons report.

“The client was found several days later to have committed suicide,” the state report reads. That passively constructed sentence downplays the drama of the scene. Police arrived on July 17 to find Darshana hanging by a piece of cloth from a tree. The midsummer heat had taken its toll, and her face — once so luminous and striking — was unrecognizable. “The body showed advanced stages of decomposition,” according to the police report.

Police knew the “decedent” could be the missing Darshana Bolt because of her proximity to the ASSIST Center. The spot was a five-minute walk away, in a patch of woods that runs behind the facility and the neighboring Champlain School Apartments. They made a tentative identification by studying her tattoos — a bird on her back, numbers on her arm — and comparing them to pictures on her Twitter and Facebook pages.

Burlington Police Detective Jeffrey Beerworth, the lead investigating officer, tracked down Darshana’s parents and dispatched a state trooper from the St. Johnsbury barracks to notify them of their daughter’s death.

The family was completely shocked, said Serenity, who was staying with her parents at the time. None of them knew Darshana had gone to the hospital, been admitted to ASSIST or that she had been missing for four days.

“The biggest, most painful thing for me is that she went for help when she felt that she was losing control,” Serenity said. She’s convinced that her sister wanted to live but couldn’t endure the withdrawal from her meds on top of her other mental health issues. “I don’t think that people go to a crisis center in order to kill themselves.”

Liberty or Death

Darshana left, and Serenity Bolt

While the Bolt family finds fault with ASSIST, mental health advocates defend it. The Howard Center’s program opened at 851 Pine Street to provide short-term residential care to patients in psychiatric crisis whose needs are not as acute as patients who are treated in hospital psychiatric wards.

The small center, near the busy corner of Pine and Flynn Avenue, also cares for patients who are transitioning from an inpatient hospital stay back to the community.

Vermont needs more such facilities, not fewer, said Jack McCullough, director of Vermont Legal Aid’s Mental Health Law Project. Even after learning of the state’s investigation of ASSIST, and expressing sympathy for the Bolt family, he said the answer isn’t to push more people into psych wards.

“The only people who should be in hospitals are people who can’t be safely treated somewhere else,” he said. “So it’s a good thing that we have these alternatives to hospitalization.”

Facilities such as ASSIST can’t legally force people to stay, but they can “follow them out of the facility and keep track of them and try and talk them into staying,” McCullough said. Staffers can always call the police if they believe a more secure environment is required.

Under state law, patients can be admitted against their will to secure psychiatric facilities in hospitals. But doctors must be able to show that the person has a mental illness that imperils the patient or others. Danger of self-harm may be established by threats or attempts at suicide, according to state guidelines. It’s unclear why, when Darshana had talked about committing suicide, she was not admitted to the hospital psych ward and kept there.

Evaluating and caring for suicidal patients requires balancing their safety and their liberty, McCullough explained: “It’s a big, big deal to have … the power of the state … confine them against their will and then, even beyond that, potentially inject them with powerful drugs … that change the workings of their brain. I think we need to be extremely cautious in taking that step for anybody.”

That longer-term involuntary commitment is even more complicated — it requires a court process — is a good thing, McCullough added.

Credit: Artwork By Darshana Bolt

Rep. Anne Donohue (R-Northfield), who herself attempted suicide in the late 1990s, agreed that it’s extremely difficult to make the call about appropriate treatment in crisis situations. “It’s really hard in any specific case to say, ‘Well, gee, what would have made it different?’ There’s always a tension between protecting the emotional dignity and rights of a person and protecting their physical safety,” she said.

Voluntary intermediate care facilities such as ASSIST provide more options, according to Donohue. Having more of them in Vermont would allow patients who are ready to leave locked hospital wards to check out sooner. Many are stuck now because they have no place to go, Donohue said. More transitional beds would also reduce emergency room wait times and allow patients to get into psychiatric care wards quicker, she said.

For decades Vermont and many other states sent people with mental health issues to so-called asylums. The Vermont State Hospital in Waterbury, built in 1890, once had as many as 1,700 patients. The number gradually declined to around 50 patients. Vermont leaders were trying to close the hospital and replace it with a fully decentralized care model when Tropical Storm Irene flooded Waterbury in 2011, accelerating the process. The state has since built a smaller facility in Berlin and uses other hospital psychiatric wards and various smaller community facilities. It has 188 beds statewide for inpatient psychiatric care, 45 of which are involuntary, high-security spots. Vermont also has an additional 40 crisis beds for voluntary care, including the six at ASSIST.

Vermont Mental Health Commissioner Frank Reed would not comment on the specifics of Darshana’s case, other than to say the state follows up to ensure facilities correct deficiencies as they have pledged to do.

Reed also believes Vermont should discuss allowing involuntary admissions in transitional bed facilities such as ASSIST. But many mental health advocates oppose that, he said, and so the idea isn’t likely to move forward.

Patient suicides at secure facilities are rare and considered a serious failing on par with amputating the wrong limb in a surgical procedure, Reed explained, adding they are also uncommon at voluntary transitional facilities. But in August, the Brattleboro Retreat was found deficient for discharging a patient who then promptly committed suicide.

Reed acknowledged the difficulty of gauging suicide risk.

“It is a moment-in-time review. You can never be quite sure of what stressors face the person when they leave hospitalization … There’s a lot of free choice that impacts what happens.”

Meanwhile, the patch of woods where Darshana died in Burlington has changed from green to gold and autumn red. Dead leaves cover the ground. Serenity is convinced that her sister would have overcome her problems had she made it through that one final crisis. She believes the mental health system failed, profoundly.

“I feel like when my sister died, something in me died as well … my faith in this system.”


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Molly Walsh was a Seven Days staff writer 2015-20.

22 replies on “Too Soon: Could the Suicide of a Burlington Artist Have Been Prevented?”

  1. Heartbreaking to see how many points of failure where she could have been treated. I don’t understand why Friend B was allowed to come back without her- I’m angry that someone had that last moment to help her and didn’t. What a monster.

    I don’t think you could understand the magic of Darshana unless you experienced it up close. She was a ball of light, guffaws, smiles and deep glittery art. She filled my heart with hope and love and a desire to be more alive. I can’t describe the void her loss has left for all that loved her.

    Thank you Seven Days for honoring her memory- and raising awareness, this was completely avoidable and I hope it leads to changes in the Mental Health system at the Howard Center. Shine on Darhsana.

  2. This is very sad but people need to stop the blame game. If someone is determined to kill themselves it is nearly impossible to stop them. I know this from experience. I also know what it is like to live with people who point their fingers and ask why you ever allowed it. My children have had people blame them for their fathers suicide. It is beyond hurtful. Suicide takes a huge toll on everyone involved, including the people who tried to help. It is hard enough to deal with the effects without people blaming you for it. No one causes another to do this.

  3. It is very easy to call a person a monster, or say her death was avoidable. Clearly you have never dealt with a person who was suicidal, or tried to prevent someone from taking their life when they were determined to do it. People please think before you speak. Words hurt.

  4. Sometimes words are the only weapons left at our disposal, when justice goes unserved. Alas, thank providence that the pen is still mightier than the sword.

  5. mistaking grief for unserved justice serves no purpose but to make matters worse. I am shocked that so many people feel it is absolutely fine blaming others for what can only be described as a tradgey. I spent years trying to keep my husband alive. I did everything but to no avail. People blamed not only me but our children who were just teenagers. It was horrible. When I posted how hurtful blame can be people immediately began disliking the post. What is wrong with people. I would say ask yourself what you did to help before criticizing others for not doing more.

  6. I’m sure your intentions for this article were to inform about the perils of mental health, but you went a different route. Instead of offering details into the failed actions of those who were supposed to protect Darshana, you chose to revisit her death with all the horrible details. This is amature jeornalism at its best.

    Maybe think about your audience since this is local and people who were close to her may read this.

  7. As a survivor of a suicide attempt living with clinical depression I find this whole premise disturbing. If someone wants to end their life they will, unless a couple things happen. 1) They change their mind. Or 2) They get lucky and survive. (My case). I can’t keep anyone alive, just like I can’t keep anyone sober. No matter what Hollywood tells me. This takes time and attention away from moving towards a solution that actually works. Wake up folks.

  8. My sister was murdered after leaving a mental health facility. Our family asked that she be kept in the facility longer than two weeks. The doctor in charge said it would take too long to go before a judge to get her committed longer. She was psychotic and had refused to eat for days. They told her if she ate, they would release her. She ate a yogurt and was released on her own without telling any family. She is dead. This happened in New York.

  9. A message to dtl61
    Dear madam we really understand that you had experienced with your husband suicidal and I am so sorry for what happened to you and also your kids but it’s not the same keys here and you are out of subject and I would like to advice you that you should see a psychologist and talk about your experience better than defending others that you don’t even know and put them at your place because all your comment about experiences that narrating you not someone that you have no idea about him or her

  10. One more tragic reminder that mental health care in Vermont is seriously lacking. Darhsana clearly needed help and those who should have helped her blew her off. Confidentiality laws make it nearly impossible for friends and parents to assist a mentally ill person even when that person realizes they need help. Unfortunately the sicker one gets, the less able they are to seek help or agree to it. A vocal segment of advocates for the mentally ill have done a great disservice opposing mental hospitals and medication. Now we have far too few skilled hospital beds and people in crisis seem to be evaluated by poorly skilled personnel. Certainly the man who killed 5 teens was reportedly only seen by a PA. I wonder if Darhsana was actually seen by a well qualified psychiatrist before she went to Assist? For someone who was out of control and stopping medication or substances risk of breakdown was even worse. All patents in crisis should be able to get an immediate screening by a psychiatrist and be transferred to a hospital psychiatric bed. If a person’s behavior seems to warrant it they need to sign a 48 hour hold at the time they first ask for help as they will be more receptive to signing at that point. They could always be discharged sooner if a competent MD decided they didn’t need the help. Until we have an adequate number of psychiatric beds and psychiatrists we are going to continue to have ruined lives and deaths. Sadly I fear the only thing that will bring about change will be huge lawsuits.

  11. I have gone with people who are suicidal to the UVM Emergency Department and been told there are no beds in either the ER or the psych ward. We have been treated with disrespect and lack of concern. I know of a woman in need of a bed who was held by the police in detention before a bed could be found. What we have is an appalling lack of beds for the seriously suicidal patient, and a shocking disregard for those who claim to be suicidal by the PAs and Nurse Practitioners who triage the patients at the ER. Until mental illness is treated with the same care as heart attacks or seizures, the deaths will continue. We lost a tremendous artist in this situation. Children lose parents. The State of Vermont is failing in the treatment of the mentally ill and suicidal. What happened to the medical mantra of “First, do no harm?” I blame UVM too.

  12. It’s difficult to know when someone will actually kill themselves and we don’t know the conversation or the friendship between Friend B. But it’s pretty simple if someone threatens suicide people, doctors should take that seriously. I’m surprised and saddened she felt she had no other options. I’m saddened the system failed her. What a tragedy for such a beautiful spirited compelling person. I had met her on a few occasions at exhibitions. I found her work very fascinating. What a loss to the Burlington art scene and for her family. I lost friends and an aunt to suicide. It’s painful for those left behind questioning and if you’ve never been there don’t pretend like you know what that’s like. Condolences to her family and friends.

  13. The title of this article was very misleading. After reading it, it seems like this is primarily the fault of UVMMC, not ASSIST or Howard Center. If she was suicidal, she should have been admitted to a locked psychiatric ward, and not pawned off to some place where the rules mandated that she was allowed to leave.

  14. Anyone that’s ever used the Howard Center for themselves or a loved one knows that their system is a faulty, judgmental, and often a borderline joke of the “get well,” system. No surprises here.
    (Not allowed to publish online or in print without my legal consent, other than this posting – on this feed – without my legal consent).

  15. There are many astute comments about the difficulty of making a proper assessment of the severity of someone’s mental state. The ‘moment in time comment is helpful to learning from this comment thread.
    Have people noticed how little emphasis has been placed on the UVM medical center’s decision making, assessment of their protocol’s and systems? How have they failed to take a leadership position? Back to the legal ‘confidentiality’ position and not the leadership and transparency option that protects confidentiality but educates us all to the mental health challenges facing schools, parents, communities, rampant and uncontrolled MD prescription of Adderal, our whole health care system, employers plus the rest of us. Let’s not stop learning because of one major and deadly error that occurred in a sea of sincere effort and depressing sadness.

  16. Why wasn’t this woman admitted to the hospital? She could have been put on Ketamine and watched. More than likely her depression would have lifted for at least a week. Why wasn’t E.C.T. mentioned? Seems like a very large lack of professionalism all around. And, “Friend B” — why did he/she allow her to just wander off without alerting the staff!!

  17. WHY HASN’T ANYONE MENTIONED WHAT BROUGHT HER TO THE POINT OF SELF MEDICATING?! C’MON!
    NYC…??!!
    LETZ GET REAL AND TALK ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED TO HER!!
    THE PEOPLE AT BE FAILED TO HELP HER!!
    I DONT KNOW HOW ONE CAN “GET OVER”
    WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR LOVELY DARSHANA!
    BLESSINGS MY SWEET LADY.
    SO MUCH LOVE!!

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