A few of you landed on a “goddess,” more still on a “porn star.” Several mentioned marathons, and some took their cue from Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally. A number of you looked to the animal kingdom for inspiration when pressed to fill in the blank. A dolphin! A gorilla! When one fortysomething couple makes waves, he sounds like a “reserved walrus,” she like a “seal.” We especially appreciated the alliteration-loving reader who came up with “a pot-bellied pig plunging into a pile of mud.”
And so, in honor of that poetic flourish, we’ll let you have the final word on this one. Consider this your found poem:
- A wild boar
- A joyful beast
- A lion
- A tiger
- A bear
- A strangled priest
- A nun without her habit
- A superhero changing into an uncomfortable costume
- I’m winning a fight to the death against unlikely odds
- I giggle
- Like a champ
- Like I stubbed my toe really hard
- I’m mad
- I’m happy as all hell
- Happy like the great Mississippi
- A Bach cadence
- An opera singer
- A fucking symphony
- A wailing ghost
- A wounded dog
- I have rainbows coming out of my ears
- A Foley sound artist for a ’40s cartoon
- A stuttering car engine
- A steam locomotive
- A generator winding down
- contents under pressure
- A crowd of teenaged girls at a Justin Bieber concert
- A lumberjack chopping down a tree
- An overweight Russian longingly calling his own name
- Linda Blair in The Exorcist!
- Björk
- Darth Vader
- John McEnroe winning Wimbledon
- A hot-air balloon
- A diving submarine
- An F-35
- A yes machine
- A tea kettle
- The wind in a creaky old barn
- A sigh of relief
- Quiet
Illustration by Sean Metcalf.
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This article appears in The Sex Issue 2013.
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