Dear Reverend,
I married my first husband a second time. He believes we are soulmates. I love him but feel we are just two sad sacks who have things in common. How can I better support his beliefs without bursting his bubble?
Sadie Sachs (woman, 58)
Dear Sadie Sachs,
People tend to think that finding their soulmate is this mystical thing that doesn’t happen to everybody. I like to believe it’s simpler than that.
Human beings are just flesh and blood with a brain that moves us around here on the Earth until we shuffle off to the next realm. During the brief time we’re here, finding someone you love who loves you back is pretty magical. However, love is not all fireworks and roses every day. Trying to hold any relationship up to a “soulmate” standard isn’t very realistic.
For a while when I was younger, I wasn’t quite sure my parents liked each other all that much. My dad was always doing something in his woodworking shop downstairs, while my mom was upstairs working on whatever crafty project she had going on. They weren’t particularly lovey-dovey with each other. But they raised eight kids, took care of each other and were married for more than 50 years. By anybody’s standards, they had a great life together.
In hindsight, it’s obvious they loved each other. Were they soulmates? Who can say? Either way, they certainly did something right.
As long as you and your husband love each other and are happy being together this time around, you have nothing to lose by keeping that going — and no reason to be a sad sack. If your husband believes you’re soulmates, what’s the harm? Maybe he’s more in tune with the mystic and is aware of something you have yet to figure out.
Good luck and God bless,
The Reverend
This article appears in May 29 – Jun 4, 2024.
