Dear Reverend,
My best friend and I have known each other since kindergarten. We’ve done just about everything together, except now that she’s pregnant. I’ve never wanted to have kids, but I’m really happy for her. The problem is that all she ever talks about now is her pregnancy and baby stuff — and she’s only about halfway through. It’s gotten to the point that I have a hard time hanging out with her because I can only pretend to be interested for so long. Is there anything I can do to get my friend back?
May Turnitty (woman, 26)
Dear May Turnitty,
You need to cut your friend some slack. Being pregnant is one of the weirdest experiences a person can go through. She’s growing a human inside of her. That’s nuts. It can take a huge toll on the body and mind.
While it’s not much fun to hang out with someone who is hyperfocused on a subject that doesn’t interest you all that much, you have to realize that your friend really needs your support right now. Your friendship has endured a lot of life changes since kindergarten; this is just another turn in the road. You need to be there to help her navigate this one, too.
The next time you hang out, try leading the conversation. It may sound silly, but be prepared with a mental list of things to talk about. You should also keep in mind that a pregnant person isn’t debilitated and can still do fun stuff. Take her out to a show, or go to dinner and get some fancy mocktails. I bet your pal would appreciate the distraction of doing something not in the least baby-related.
The two of you have known each other forever, so I’m sure you can be honest with each other. If the baby talk is really getting to you, just discuss it with her. Keep in mind that she may be a little extra sensitive and you should be gentle, but you know how to best communicate with your friend.
Keeping old friendships strong takes work, especially when marriages, children and other wacky “adult” stuff get thrown in the mix. But having a best friend your whole life is something magical that not everyone gets, and it’s worth every ounce of effort.
Bonus: You can be the Fun Auntie who has a cool kid friend but doesn’t need to deal with any of the messy bits.
Good luck and God bless,
The Reverend
This article appears in Love & Marriage Issue 2025.
