I’m way too old to be using this app, I know. Yik Yak is supposed to be for college students, and I’m pushing 40. I downloaded it because I wanted to see what the local students were saying — about life, about Burlington, about each other.
It was a fun experiment. I was mostly checking it from Winooski, or Burlington, where the yak scene is pretty active. I compiled a long list of memorable yaks that made me smile, or gag. I up voted and down voted enough of them to rack up about 400 points of “yakarma” — you get a point for every vote, so that gives you a sense of how active I’ve been. I wrote about my findings for this week’s Seven Days Sex Issue.
I also wanted to include a transcript of a late-night thread I found one when I woke up early one Friday morning, but I didn’t have room in print, so I’m presenting it here online. It reminded me of the “finds” I used to see in Found Magazine.
It’s impossible to know who these people are — or if there was even more than one of them to begin with. I like to think there was. I love the way this conversation starts with a raunchy come-on, then pivots to a kind of courting scene. They even talk about the hookup app Tinder. Scrolling through the transcript of this conversation, I was reminded of a children’s book I used to read over and over to my kids: an illustrated version of “The Spider and the Fly.”
Here it is as I found it when I woke up on Friday morning, the day before Valentine’s Day. It appears to have begun around 2:30 a.m. The yak that started it all was “Just wanna bend a girl over.” I marked the replies so that it’s clear who’s speaking. Or who I think is speaking. Guess we’ll never know for sure. Does it even matter?
Original Poster: “Just wanna bend a girl over”
First Responder: Just wanna bend a guy over
FR: Just wanna be bent over
OP: Let’s make it happen
FR: If only
OP :Its possible
FR: It’s possible, just not probable or plausible
OP: You have the ability to make it probable or not. Plausible maybe not, adventurous, definitely.
FR: Good point, I’m not usually at my most adventurous when there’s a real feel of -21 and it’s 2:40 and I’m already in bed
OP: We can set it up for some other time
FR: You don’t know me and I have no idea who you are
FR: What makes you think you would even like me?
OP: Let’s snap[chat] or exchange numbers
OP: And then we can see if it’s something we want to do
OP: Ah. Too bad. Would have been exciting. I like the rush
FR: It’s not something I’ve ever done before so it’s not a rush I know
OP: Its just an adrenaline kick
FR: This has worked for you before?
OP: Meeting someone new, spontaneously, through strange circumstances
OP: I’ve never had a yak encounter
FR: Online though?
OP: If you count tinder
FR: Ah! I just deleted my tinder
FR: But yes, I would count tinder as online
OP: Thats as close to online encounter i’ve gotten
FR: And did it go well?
OP: It did go well. It was fun
FR: Because she ended up being a cool person? Or just a fun hookup?
OP: Both. She was chill and it was a great hookup
FR: Do you guys still hang out?
OP: No we don’t
FR: Sorry, don’t mean to be interrogating you, I’m just honestly curious
OP: Haha it’s okay i don’t mind
FR: The fact that tinder has become such a thing kind of amazes me and makes me sad all at the same time
OP: Its def the hookup culture we are in.
OP: But good for people using every tool at hand in order to meet and discover new people
FR: It is, which can be great is also a bummer at times. But I have an exam tomorrow morning, so am going to sleep. Good luck finding your girl.
OP: Goodnight. Goodluck on your exam 🙂
FR: Thank you. Maybe someday we’ll meet, and never know we’ve talked before
OP: A romantic could only hope
FR: Lol
Second Responder: Soo… You two gonna fuck or what?
Related Stories
Got something to say?
Send a letter to the editor and we'll publish your feedback in print!
