Dear Athena,
I am so embarrassed and confused and horrified. The other night I was having sex with a guy I just started dating, and it was great. I was feeling like I was about to orgasm and I totally peed. It just came shooting out and I had no control. He was completely grossed out, and I jumped out of the bed. The mood was over, and I made a reason to leave, which he was totally fine with. I haven’t talked to him in a few days. I’m afraid to call him and try to hang out because I am so embarrassed. And he hasn’t tried to call me. What is wrong with me? That has never happened before, but I don’t have that much experience in the orgasm department. What’s going on?
Please help,
Pee Disaster
Dear PD,
Feeling embarrassed is awful. But feeling scared is worse, so let me first allay your fear. There is nothing wrong with you and everything is going to be OK.
Here’s some information that might put you at ease: You probably didn’t pee. It may have felt like that because it happened so fast. But what you most likely did was some simple, harmless squirting.
Squirting is when a woman releases fluid around the urethra. What you experienced, my friend, was female ejaculation. It’s common and is often confused with urine, as it feels quite similar. But here’s the good part: The release of that liquid, similar to the release of sperm in a man, is a result of intense G-spot stimulation. So whatever you and your guy were doing, you were doing it right.
While it’s possible to pee a little during sex, it’s not as likely. Your bladder has to be pretty full to leak. The sensation of needing to pee is a good thing, too; it’s a sign that an orgasm is headed your way.
I say call your guy and get together and chat. Tell him you felt/feel embarrassed. Explain that you got some information and want to let him in on what really went down. He will probably be pleased to hear it. What happened is actually positive for you two, and not just because you located your G-spot. You two shared an embarrassing moment, something that all couples eventually experience. If he’s mature and comfortable with himself, and with bodies in general, he will get over his initial squeamishness and laugh with you about the whole thing. These kinds of moments can bring you closer.
However, if you feel his reaction was over the top and made you feel even more self-conscious and horrified, then maybe he’s not the most sensitive person. You want to invest in a guy who is able to step up in a delicate or humiliating moment. Your partner ought to find a way to assuage your discomfort instead of making you want to flee. Think about it before you move forward. But, most importantly, know that you are 100 percent OK.
Yours,
Athena
This article appears in The Winter Preview Issue 2014.
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Actually Athena, this is not correct. There is no such thing as “female ejaculation”….it is in fact urine.
That being said, there is still no reason for the writer to be embarrassed because it is still as natural as the made-up “female ejaculation”. And to be fair to Athena, the science was not out on this subject when she replied to this writer.
http://www.sciencealert.com/here-s-where-f…
Paul H,
“The question isn’t if female ejaculation is real. It’s why you don’t trust women to tell you” http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/jan/17/the-question-isnt-if-female-ejaculation-is-real-its-why-you-dont-trust-women-to-tell-you
“regardless of the biological basis of female ejaculation, the physical experience is, at its heart, a pure expression of female sexual pleasure. Insisting that female ejaculation is really just confused urination doesn’t just denigrate women’s ability to understand our own bodies – it also positions female sexual pleasure as filthy, dirty, and ultimately less than the celebrated male orgasm.”
My fiancé has made me SQUIRT whether it be pee or female ejaculation and he loves it so do I. It’s the best feeling yes I felt weird at first bc he’s the only person I’ve ever been with that has made me do that but he’s also the best lover I’ve ever had too. Hell last night alone I did multiple times and it was by his doing not mine bc he knows what makes me SQUIRT and what doesn’t. So if a man has an issue with it its bc they don’t care about getting you off to the best of their ability or just don’t know how or just aren’t comfortable enough with themselves let alone another person.
That sounds exactly wat happens with my finance n I he is my soul mate the things he can do 2 make me feel like that I never new was possible until we met. 2 yrs n still have amazing sex he thinks I’m getting board n so he gotta switch things up but that’s funny cuz I could get off doing same thing everyday all day… I just looked this up tonight because he thought I gave been peeing most of the time so he upset thinking I don’t like it anymore… So glad 2 show him I was right n its a good thing just proves wat I always tell him that he is the best we made 4 each other soul mates!!!!!! Thank u female ejaculation hallelujah!!!!!