Dear Reverend,
I don’t have a lot of mirrors at home, so when I recently stayed at a hotel with an abundance of them, I put them to good use. I noticed that the skin in my, for lack of a better word, butt crack is a lot darker than the rest of me. I’ve heard of anal bleaching, but I would be mortified to have it done by someone. Is it possible to do it myself?
Derry Ayer (nonbinary, 27)
Dear Derry Ayer,
Although the technical term is intergluteal cleft, “butt crack” is much more fun to say. It’s very common for the skin in that area to be darker than other parts of the body. And no, it isn’t caused by poop stains. The body just produces more melanin in some places, and it can be exacerbated by friction, moisture, hormonal changes or just plain genetics.
Anal bleaching is a cosmetic procedure that lightens the skin in the area around the anus. There are a variety of different methods that include creams, chemical peels or laser treatments, but none involves actual bleach. It should go without saying that you should never put bleach anywhere on, or in, your body.
You can buy at-home kits, but there are a whole lot of things that could go wrong: infection, skin damage, permanent discoloration or scarring, to name a few. It’s one thing to bleach your hair at home, but when you’re dealing with sensitive bits below the belt, it’s best to consult a professional.
An experienced dermatologist or aesthetician has seen and heard it all, so there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Imagine how much more embarrassed you’d be if you wound up at the doctor’s office because you burned your butt attempting to do it yourself.
The results of anal bleaching, even when done by a pro, aren’t permanent, so you’d have to keep doing it to keep up appearances. That could get costly.
Being concerned about the shade of one’s ass crack is a prime example of a manufactured insecurity. Certain media and marketing schemes strive to convince us that something completely normal about our body is wrong in order to sell us products. Your bum is probably beautiful just the way it is, but if it will truly make you feel better about yourself, go ahead and bleach your ass off.
Good luck and God bless,
The Reverend
This article appears in Jan 29 – Feb 4, 2025.
